Flowers That Mean Death, Mourning and Remembrance

Many flowers carry meanings of death, mourning or remembrance, and knowing them helps in two directions. It helps you choose sympathy flowers that say the right thing. And it keeps you from accidentally sending a funeral flower to a birthday, a hospital room or a family from a culture where that flower belongs to the grave.

This guide covers the flowers most associated with death and mourning, how those meanings differ around the world, and what black flowers mean. If you're choosing flowers for a service right now, our guide to what kind of flowers to send for a funeral is more practical.

Flowers that symbolize death and mourning

These are the flowers most strongly tied to death, grief and remembrance:

• White lilies: the restored innocence of the soul. The most traditional funeral flower in Canada. See our lily flower meaning guide.
• Chrysanthemums: in France, Italy, Belgium, Spain, Poland and much of Europe, the flower of graves and All Saints' Day. In China, Japan and Korea, white chrysanthemums are the mourning flower. In Canada and the US, mums mean friendship and cheer, as in our November birth flower guide.
• Poppies: remembrance of the war dead. For Canadians, the red poppy is tied to John McCrae's "In Flanders Fields" and Remembrance Day. Read more in our poppy flower meaning guide.
• Marigolds: in Mexico, the cempasúchil guides the souls of the dead home on the Day of the Dead. In India, marigold garlands are used at both weddings and funerals. See our marigold flower meaning guide.
• White roses: reverence, peace and remembrance. See white rose meaning.
• White carnations: pure love and remembrance; red carnations express admiration for the person who died.
• Gladioli: strength of character, sincerity and moral integrity. Tall gladioli are common in standing funeral sprays. See our gladiolus guide.
• Purple hyacinths: sorrow and regret. See our hyacinth flower meaning guide.
• Forget-me-nots: remembrance and enduring love. See our forget-me-not guide.
• Red spider lilies: in Japan, higanbana, the flower of the autumn equinox and of farewell, said to grow along the path to the afterlife.
• Asphodel: in Greek myth, the flower of the meadows of the underworld.

White: the colour of mourning in much of the world

In Canada, black is the traditional colour of mourning, but in China, Japan, Korea, India and many other countries, white is. That's part of why white flowers dominate funeral arrangements across cultures, and why an all-white bouquet can feel funereal to someone from East Asia even for a happy occasion.

If you're sending flowers to celebrate someone from one of those backgrounds, add colour. And if you're sending sympathy, white is almost always safe.

Black flower meaning

Black flowers mean farewell, mourning, death, and sometimes rebirth or power. In Victorian times, black was the colour of deep mourning, and dark flowers carried the same message.

True black flowers are very rare in nature. Most "black" flowers are extremely dark purple or red, such as black baccara roses, black hollyhocks, 'Black Beauty' dahlias, black calla lilies and some tulips, and black roses in bouquets are usually dyed. Today black flowers are used in two very different ways: at funerals and memorials, and as a bold, gothic statement at weddings, Halloween parties and birthdays for people who love the look. Our guide to rose colour meanings covers the dyed shades.

Flowers to avoid for happy occasions

Because of these meanings, a few flowers are best kept off celebrations, depending on the recipient's background:

• Chrysanthemums for anyone from France, Italy, Belgium, Spain, Poland, China, Japan or Korea.
• All-white bouquets for a celebration with an East Asian family.
• White lilies for a hospital room or a new baby. Many people associate them with funerals, and their scent is strong in a small room.
• Red and white together in some UK hospitals, where an old superstition links the pair to blood and bandages.

Choosing sympathy flowers

The flowers above say "we are grieving with you". For a service, standing sprays, wreaths and casket sprays go to the funeral home. Our funeral wreaths and funeral sprays collections cover those. For the family's home, a vase, a basket or a plant is more personal and lasts longer: the Eternal Peace Basket and At Peace Arrangement are calm white designs, and a sympathy plant can stay with the family for years.

The card matters as much as the flowers. Our guide on what to write on funeral flowers has examples, and sympathy gifts covers alternatives when flowers aren't wanted.

Flowers and funeral customs in Canada

Canada is home to many faiths and cultures, and they don't all treat funeral flowers the same way. Before you send, it helps to check the obituary or ask the funeral home:

• Christian funerals (Catholic, Protestant, Orthodox) generally welcome flowers at the funeral home and the service.
• Jewish funerals traditionally don't use flowers. A donation to a charity the family names, or food sent to the home during shiva, is the usual gesture.
• Muslim funerals are typically simple, and flowers at the service are often not expected. Some families welcome flowers at the home; ask first.
• Hindu funerals often use flowers, especially white flowers and garlands. Bright, celebratory arrangements aren't appropriate.
• Buddhist funerals commonly use white or yellow flowers. Red is associated with happiness and is usually avoided.

If the notice says "in lieu of flowers", respect it and give to the cause the family names. You can still send a small plant or basket to the home a few weeks later, when the cards stop arriving and grief often feels heaviest.

Sending sympathy flowers anywhere in Canada

Flowers on Demand delivers across every province and territory through a network of local florists, who arrange and hand-deliver each order. Delivery is a flat $19.99. For same-day delivery, order before 1:00 PM in the recipient's time zone, Monday to Saturday; there's no Sunday delivery.

Start with our funeral and sympathy flowers, or find the town you're sending to on our delivery cities page. Local florists occasionally swap a stem for one of similar style and value when a flower is short, so if one flower matters most, say so in the card or delivery note.